unfamiliar

but also super duper familiar

a prairie stroll in July

Hi friends.

You may have noticed from the email or notification within substack: I changed the name of this space. Welcome to kneading optimism: a word play on where I find myself. Kneading: in pie making and massage, I knead and need a place to share my voice and ideas. Optimism: one of things I love most about my spouse is that she is an optimist to her core. I love the way she sees the world, her glass is always half full of pure possibility. Right now, in times like these, I need it. And I think you might need it too. In this space I’ll find it, share it, glean it, and offer us more room for optimism.

So, why the refresh? With the old Pie & Mighty logo and the old name serving as a reminder of the past, every time I came to the page to write, it felt like I couldn’t be here now, in this goo of transformation. With this refresh I feel more able to be here, sharing stories, dreaming, and loving what is (thanks Byron Katie). Welcome to it.

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The summer trimester of massage therapy school just wrapped and I am delighted to report that I had a 4.0 report card. Six A’s and three W’s which were maybe the best thing I’ve ever done for myself, besides getting married. The second half of the trimester (when I decided it was time for drop-fest ‘25) has been spent reading about trauma—my own, others, and how to live with it—and enneagram stuff. I’ve been offering practice massages, making a few pies here and there, and resting. Oh and got started back in therapy, got an ADHD diagnosis, and have been fighting back the demons of you’re not good enough. No big whoop.

Another life update: I’ve found God (again). Actually, a faith community, but like bigger than that. I was not looking for it, but you know how it is. A thing leads to a thing then someone invites you somewhere, and then that thread pulls on another, and next thing you know you’re in a pew being held like the sweet love that you are. Weird. Wonderful, but also weird. I sort of love it all over again, and that feels really wonderful. It’s a little complicated, but I am trying to just let it be what it is and not throw labels on it. Please don’t throw labels or judgements on or at me. I promise to do the same.

Friends, I am dreaming new dreams. I don’t know HOW they will manifest, I only know that they will. This feeling is very familiar, like when I started making pie. But it is also wholly unfamiliar because I am different. So are you. We aren’t who we were when we met. We aren’t who we were yesterday.

So knowing that, what will you do on this beautiful summer day, with this one WILD and precious life?

go on. push.